If NOT NOW , WHEN?

During this Autumn season, known in the old pagan European cultures and Christian esoteric circles, as a time when the threshold between this world and the next are at their thinnest, (hence, Halloween, All Saints and All Souls Day) the subject of mortality has circled around again. Some friends that I know are dealing head on with their own impending death, due to a bad diagnosis; while others are being deeply affected by the sudden prognosis of someone else that they know and love. In either case, what emerges for all is a deep stirring in the soul that is a reminder that we are vulnerable to the brevity of one precious human lifetime.  

While the faint sound of an old movie song from the sixties "What's it all about Alfie?" plays in my mind, I am reminded that our human drama remains to be a struggle that is compounded by the the need and attempt to be in control at all times. While control emerges as an expression of our free will , it is not necessarily a free will operating freely.  It is often generated by a fear of one's limits and capacity to be vulnerable while living in a state of questions rather than definitive answers and certainties. It is often true that when life beckons change, we dig our heels deep into the ground and create greater resistance. Rarely, does the outcome serve us.

Developing trust in life requires more than developing trust in ourselves. Life, by nature, is always evolving with an ever present force moving, shaping circumstances around us. Life generally asks of us to participate by continuing to adapt and learn new behaviors, expand our consciousness and make the necessary lifestyle changes that support a thriving existence to our wellbeing and others.  When we forget that we do not control our time on Earth, it is easy to fall prey to the dillusion that we have all the time in the world to get around to living the life we really want. We try to mastermind the perfect timing of a reality that is by nature destined to crumble before our feet. It is then on this new fresh soil of broken dreams that we stand in the truth of our corporality and soul life.  It is then, that we begin to walk the path that leads with a "soft will" versus a hard will, as Hungarian philospher Georg Kuhlewind spoke . It is then, that we realize there is wisdom in the authoress, Barry Stevens words titled in her classic on Zen wisdom "Don't Push The River".

 My one dear friend chooses to remain as wide eyed and open to the unfolding experience of her letting go by exploring the transformative potential that dying offers. She refuses to stop learning about herself and the relationships that have and continue to shape her life. Her family and friends have had the opportunity to express the deepest of feelings to her. In her vulnerability she has discovered how she has positively impacted those in her life, while she has also allowed the healing power of receptivity to work deeply through her. Her life is very nourished now as she drinks every last drop from the chalice of Life.

Dear Friends, Let's consider in this very moment, that there is an alternative to being struck down in health in order to become awakened and vulnerable to living a life that is truly in balance. Breathe in deeply and realize that this is your exquisite time on Earth. Breathe in deeply the duration of this gift into your body, heart, and soul. Breathe out a life that is artful, gracious, grateful, humble, truthful, generous, wise and loving.  If not now, When? 

Peace, 

The Power of Beginning

Often in therapeutic sessions I hear clients share their concern and fears about the transitional times they are going through and are exasperated about "starting over", having "lost time" or worse yet,"wasted time" and now experience an urgent need to "catch up". In each of these conversations, we are always brought back ,through circuitous conversation, to the same place. NOW

No matter how you look at it, each time your awareness awakens to your current situation and you decide that you must create a change , you are entering an experience that feels new and is better known as beginning again. Each time you wipe the tears away, shake the cobwebs from your mind, take a deep breath, dare to step forward, say the unthinkable, risk being vulnerable and loveable, ask for what you need, claim your inherited right to be, drop an addiction or the fear of it, start a new relationship, walk away from a bad one, you are beginning anew.

Each Autumn, for over a decade now, I attend a retreat with a group of people, better known as the Logos Group, in New England.  We come together with an intention to stretch our capacities to think and feel more deeply into the sacred experience and meaning of the Logos.  Our guiding mentor for more than two decades was Georg Kuhlewind, a Hungarian philosopher of Esoteric Christianity, a professor, scientist, meditation teacher and prolific author of over fifty books.

On one of those special weekends, when Georg was still with us, he brought to our attention that many of the nuances of meaning are lost in translations. He made a point of demonstrating this when he referenced the first verse in the Prologue to the Bible. Reading from six different bibles the same verse, he revealed that the omittance or addition of a single word could changed the deeper meaning of the verse. In this case, he brought to our attention how many of the translations  begin with "IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE ...... Georg identified that other older translations in Aramaic, Greek and Hebrew omit  "the". Thus the meaning shifts dramatically from a specific beginning to an eternal now. It became clear to us that there can be no such thing as "The Beginning" or in other words an  "absolute beginning" . That is like saying Eternity starts here. 

What this nuance in language speaks to, is the lost ability for humans to comprehend and therefore translate the concept of an "eternal beginning". How beginning is a timeless experience, not relegated to our concept of a when. In our mortal thinking, if everything becomes past, or future, then we are aways suffering from the illusions that we are  'too late" or "too early" for living at all in the present. If we accept for a single moment that we are also immortal in our spirit, then it allows one to imagine accepting another reality.... BEGINNINGS ALWAYS ARE. I have come to cherish this teaching from Georg and the revelation of understanding that it brings to mind. Dare one live with eternal springs of beginnings.

When our experiences lose the felt sense of beginningness, there is a clear sign that we are living too much in our head. We are forgetting to engage all of our self and our senses.  The freshness of a moment becomes separate from our fuller embodied consciousness. Try consciously to enter each moment and stand in your own presence. Take another step into the next moment. This is the secret of walking meditation. There is no where to go.  Bring all of you with you; When you cannot, then it is a good opportunity to ask yourself what part of myself am I leaving behind? What is back there that I need to resolve so I may come forward into this moment of my life?

Such questions are essential if you want to practice mindfulness. Becoming sensitive to your own comfort level of living in the present as  "beginning experiences" requires you to find and gather all of yourself so you are vital. When your mind creates illusionary time sequences that stop you from seizing the moment, you are taken out of the present and the energetic charge that always exist is reduced to a duller reality. How often have you read about people who decide at a ripe age in life to take up a new hobbie or athletic feat? They defy their age, logic etc. because they have freed themselves of the confines of limited thinking. Whenever you limit yourself with a  mental scenario you begin to feel depressed and experience a resignation that it is too late to be anew.

So, in the spirit of my dear beloved mentor Georg Kuhlewind, who always posed a question or statement to contemplate on, I will do the same to you.  Who creates Beginnings? 

Blessings